Lean Into the Discomfort
Meagan Dunham, LMSW | Program Manager
Who loves to be uncomfortable? Not me…surely not me. I’m here to remind you that feeling uncomfortable is a normal human experience. I’ll share a little about my journey at IWES in an effort to gain your trust in believing that uncomfortable situations can be fruitful.
As I think back to my first introduction to IWES through the CDC’s Public Health Associate Program, I was honored to be placed at an organization that values women of color. I packed my bags one week before my start date and prepared to leave South Carolina. On my birthday, I made my big move in a U-haul for 12 hours. As you can imagine, I was thrilled to celebrate my solar return and begin a new journey in New Orleans.
A few months later, I officially joined the IWES team as a Program Associate to increase community-level HIV prevention. Through community outreach at nearly all of the Walgreens in New Orleans, I learned how to be an advocate alongside folks in the community. Successful community outreach is a journey of learning how to serve, and in the HIV/STI arena this work is multi-faceted and tough. Through community outreach, condom distribution, HIV/STI testing, and linking individuals to medical care, my team chartered a path for future work in the field. I learned very quickly that strong alliances and teamwork were necessary to create change for people living with HIV and to prevent the spread of HIV. During testing sessions, I got the opportunity to speak with clients individually about their sexual behaviors. Discussing sexual risk behaviors is not an easy conversation to have with a stranger, and to lessen the burden of stress during HIV/STI screening, I asked, “What does sex look like for you?”
Awkward silence.
Although it is an uncomfortable question to ask, in my experience, clients responded well and could give most of the information needed for the sexual risk behavior questions within 2-3 sentences after reflecting on that question. Twenty minutes is the standard time to complete rapid HIV/STI screenings with counseling. In screening sessions, I often felt like twenty minutes passed way too quickly. I always wanted to hear more about a client’s journey or offer more solutions to conflicts that they mentioned. At that time, I had no idea I’d ever be interested in any career outside of Public Health.
When IWES created a new avenue, a support group, to provide additional support to Black and Latina women living with HIV, I was thrilled. The program was called Out of the Shadows, and it became a familiar name at IWES. We were excited to unite our history of community healing work and HIV prevention work and focus specifically on healing for women living with HIV. In partnership with the Southern AIDS Coalition, we created a support space for twenty cis- and transgender women living with HIV in the Greater New Orleans area to enhance their resiliency and well-being, develop skills necessary to achieve viral suppression, explore life-enhancing goals, and ultimately, emerge from isolation. I wasn’t sure how my presence in the group would influence advocacy, leadership, or healing. The group was already filled with alluring, resilient, and bold souls that challenged the status quo and invented ways to sustain and thrive. Out of the Shadows participants constantly inspired me because they are sisters, mothers, grandmothers, and community pillars who strive daily.
During the first year of group sessions, we analyzed the book Healing Is the Revolution by our Founder, Dr. Denese Shervington. In processing the book’s themes, the women in Out of the Shadows reflected on generational resilience, self-care, and healing practices. Later, Out of the Shadows participants had the opportunity to not only participate in, but also choose the direction of a documentary film project that our Communications Department created called New Nickels. Through the film, they are able to advance narrative change by defining how they want to be seen and providing a brief glimpse into their lives as women living with HIV. They’re able to show the world how they cope with the everyday stressors of living in the South, working, struggling to raise kids, and dealing with family drama to advocate for a better society for themselves and others. To build upon that work and continue to “step into the light,” we focused on leadership and personal advocacy to create building blocks to a more positive self. In that vein, the name of the program has transitioned from “Out of the Shadows” to “Into the Light,” and I couldn’t think of anything more fitting. I’m excited to see how these women have continued to step into the light as they continue to advocate and take advantage of leadership opportunities.
But I didn’t only get to observe the growth of the participants, I also got to witness my own growth. With support from colleagues and lots of facilitation practice, I learned how to be comfortable in group settings. I enjoyed learning about the precious experiences of the women in the group and now I realize that these women have had such a profound impact on how I view my role. They greatly inspired me to stretch beyond my comfort zone. For example, I’ve pushed myself to take on new public speaking opportunities and I’ve shared my experiences with the ladies of Into the Light and New Nickels with social workers from all over the country — like during the National Conference on Social Work and HIV/AIDS — and through local partnerships in New Orleans. Now you may be saying, wait a second, social work? I thought she said she could only see a career in Public Health…? In fact, I explored a new career in social work because I wanted to grow my comfort to be able to support the causes that I cared so deeply about. That’s right. I decided to become a full-time employee, a full-time student, and an intern in the middle of a global pandemic!
Ouch! That's uncomfortable.
As a student of social work, I began facilitating groups at Hotel Hope, a local shelter for women and children in Central City. I was excited to facilitate a new group for women. I was not very excited to facilitate a group with young kids. As an only child and the youngest grandchild, I had a very limited view of how to interact with young people. I was terrified! I spent my first group session nervously watching ten kiddos play. I wanted to prevent them from tripping, falling, and eating markers.
I was not successful. They ran. They fell. They licked markers. They survived. I survived.
I was successful in learning from the children at Hotel Hope. They quickly taught me that they have large voices and even larger emotions. The most well-received sessions with the young people at Hotel Hope involved identifying feelings, moods, and behaviors. The needs of young people aren’t that different from adults, although their processes and abilities are different. Principles of play therapy and art therapy influenced the majority of the sessions with young people at Hotel Hope. Sessions for mothers embodied an atmosphere of self-empowerment. Combined, the sessions created an avenue for open communication between mothers and children. Overall, I learned that children, like adults, desire to be heard and understood.
Growth is uncomfortable. Gently lean into it.
Although my interests and roles vary, my goal is to help create healing and helpful spaces for those who need it most. Whether my goal is achieved through Saturday morning empowerment sessions, weekday support group sessions, program planning, HIV testing, or community outreach, I’m always open to learning. I served in a role that creates a support space and creates new avenues for medical services for Black women living with HIV. Learning from my new community here in New Orleans has increased my capacity to empathize and effectively serve. In my journey in public health, from an HIV coordinator to moving into the world of social work as a Licensed Master Social Worker — both for people living with HIV and with different populations — I see how discomfort can bring service to others and to self. I look forward to welcoming more uncomfortable situations that may produce new opportunities to increase knowledge. Now, I manage staff and program activities through reACTion, a multisystem initiative designed to reduce suicidality and improve the mental health outcomes of Black youth in New Orleans.
And now, we are here…still trusting the discomfort and learning to live with it.
Navigating the challenges of managing a multisystem program in the realm of social work and public health has been a profound lesson in learning to trust both myself and the work I undertake. In the ever-evolving landscape of these fields, doubt and discomfort can occasionally cast its shadow. However, as time goes on, I've developed a deeper sense of confidence in my abilities and the impact of our collective endeavors. Embracing the insights gleaned from triumphs and hurdles, I've come to understand that trusting oneself involves more than just unwavering confidence; it's a continuous process of learning from discomfort and growth. This newfound trust in myself and the work we pursue has not only fortified my professional journey but has also equipped me with the resilience and assurance needed to navigate the dynamic landscape of social work and public health.